first real Christmas
I realize this is a little late.
The weekend before Christmas, Gabriela Catalina was singing in the Christmas program at church. They did this cute little play with Sherlock Holmes and Watson going back in time to Bethlehem. There were a million songs that the kids were really into singing. It's April and we still sing the CD in the car, so you know it is good.
So, its Saturday night, December 21, 2013. Colton and I had just finished watching her sing, Ben was away at a conference. We left the sanctuary singing and laughing, talking about Jesus and Santa Claus. The snow began to fall and as we skipped to the car, we looked up at the stars, laughing, trying to catch the snowflakes on our tongues. It was the most perfect night.
We get in the car and everyone starts to buckle up, singing songs of the night. We open the sun roof to watch the snow fall on the glass. Gabriela Catalina asks me, "Mommy? What was that thing you did when you were little?" Oh good grief. I have no idea. About ten million things. "Um, I'm not sure what you are talking about honey. Mommy did a lot of things when she was little."
GC: "You know. The thing you did with your cousin and Jesus and your heart."
Me: "Oh. Do you mean when I asked Jesus to come into my heart?" I'm getting uncomfortable. I do not like talking about religion and my thoughts about it. I really don't. There are less than a handful of people that I'm good with discussing, even including my own kids. It's always been a thing for me.
GC: "Yeah. What does that mean again?"
Me: "Well.... everyone has a little bit of a different take on it. But I would say most people believe that if you ask Jesus to come live in your heart, it means that you are going to follow Jesus because you believe that he is God's son and that you should do what the Bible teaches you. I think that's pretty much the gist of it."
Colton: "So... Jesus makes a house in your heart? How do all the people fit in there?" He looks down at his chest, confused.
Me: "Well, its not that he actually LIVES in your heart. It's just like a saying. Like when I say you are in my heart, I don't mean you are ACTUALLY in my heart. I mean that you are always on my mind and I think about you with everything that I say and everything that I do. You can never get away from me and my thoughts and I can never get away from you. It's kind of like that."
GC: "I think I want to do that."
Me: "What? Ask Jesus to be in your heart?"
GC: "Yes. How do I do that?"
I get that this is supposed to be this amazing moment and I should be hearing angels call but its just not for me. I'm really, really uncomfortable. Dang it Ben and your conferences. This is right up your alley.
Me: "Well, I think you just say a little prayer. That's it."
GC: "Can you do it for me?"
Me: "I don't think it works like that. I think you have to do it yourself." She starts to tear up. Which is great because I'm sweating. I really, really don't like conversations like these. Judge all you want. I just don't.
GC: Crying, "But I don't want to do it by myself, I want YOU to do it."
I think Colton senses my anxiety and my extreme lack of love for outloud, public prayer.
C: "I'll do it for you Gabi. Here, give me yowa hand. I'll pray out woud and you can pray in your mind. Mommy you hold my hand and Gabi's hand, too."
So, there we were, the three of us, in the parking lot of the church, snow falling, stars shining, holding hands.
My three year old son says, "Dear God. Fank you for dis day. Fank you for Mommy, fank you for Daddy, fank you for Gabi, fank you for Colton, fank you for Chata. Pwease come and wiv in Gabi's hawat. Bwess us always. I wuv you God. Amen." Big grin.
So proud of my boy and of my girl.
Her face lights up and she asks, "So, Mommy. Would you say that this is my first real Christmas?" (they reference it all the time in the play). "Yes, yes I guess you could."
"Good." She says with a smile.
The weekend before Christmas, Gabriela Catalina was singing in the Christmas program at church. They did this cute little play with Sherlock Holmes and Watson going back in time to Bethlehem. There were a million songs that the kids were really into singing. It's April and we still sing the CD in the car, so you know it is good.
So, its Saturday night, December 21, 2013. Colton and I had just finished watching her sing, Ben was away at a conference. We left the sanctuary singing and laughing, talking about Jesus and Santa Claus. The snow began to fall and as we skipped to the car, we looked up at the stars, laughing, trying to catch the snowflakes on our tongues. It was the most perfect night.
We get in the car and everyone starts to buckle up, singing songs of the night. We open the sun roof to watch the snow fall on the glass. Gabriela Catalina asks me, "Mommy? What was that thing you did when you were little?" Oh good grief. I have no idea. About ten million things. "Um, I'm not sure what you are talking about honey. Mommy did a lot of things when she was little."
GC: "You know. The thing you did with your cousin and Jesus and your heart."
Me: "Oh. Do you mean when I asked Jesus to come into my heart?" I'm getting uncomfortable. I do not like talking about religion and my thoughts about it. I really don't. There are less than a handful of people that I'm good with discussing, even including my own kids. It's always been a thing for me.
GC: "Yeah. What does that mean again?"
Me: "Well.... everyone has a little bit of a different take on it. But I would say most people believe that if you ask Jesus to come live in your heart, it means that you are going to follow Jesus because you believe that he is God's son and that you should do what the Bible teaches you. I think that's pretty much the gist of it."
Colton: "So... Jesus makes a house in your heart? How do all the people fit in there?" He looks down at his chest, confused.
Me: "Well, its not that he actually LIVES in your heart. It's just like a saying. Like when I say you are in my heart, I don't mean you are ACTUALLY in my heart. I mean that you are always on my mind and I think about you with everything that I say and everything that I do. You can never get away from me and my thoughts and I can never get away from you. It's kind of like that."
GC: "I think I want to do that."
Me: "What? Ask Jesus to be in your heart?"
GC: "Yes. How do I do that?"
I get that this is supposed to be this amazing moment and I should be hearing angels call but its just not for me. I'm really, really uncomfortable. Dang it Ben and your conferences. This is right up your alley.
Me: "Well, I think you just say a little prayer. That's it."
GC: "Can you do it for me?"
Me: "I don't think it works like that. I think you have to do it yourself." She starts to tear up. Which is great because I'm sweating. I really, really don't like conversations like these. Judge all you want. I just don't.
GC: Crying, "But I don't want to do it by myself, I want YOU to do it."
I think Colton senses my anxiety and my extreme lack of love for outloud, public prayer.
C: "I'll do it for you Gabi. Here, give me yowa hand. I'll pray out woud and you can pray in your mind. Mommy you hold my hand and Gabi's hand, too."
So, there we were, the three of us, in the parking lot of the church, snow falling, stars shining, holding hands.
My three year old son says, "Dear God. Fank you for dis day. Fank you for Mommy, fank you for Daddy, fank you for Gabi, fank you for Colton, fank you for Chata. Pwease come and wiv in Gabi's hawat. Bwess us always. I wuv you God. Amen." Big grin.
So proud of my boy and of my girl.
Her face lights up and she asks, "So, Mommy. Would you say that this is my first real Christmas?" (they reference it all the time in the play). "Yes, yes I guess you could."
"Good." She says with a smile.
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