A Zombie Husband
Gabriela Catalina had a little friend over tonight for a "late over." The cutest idea. In lieu of a sleepover, the little girl's mom suggested we do a "late over"- her daughter can stay as late as we want and then when its time to go home, she'll come and pick her up. This avoids all late night anxieties and no 2am wake ups of "I want to go hoooooome!!" It's fabulous. So we decided 10pm was a good time. I drop the little girl off with Gabriela Catalina and Colton in tow- she lives less than 2 miles away. We are not even out of her neighborhood and my kids are asleep in the car. We pull up to the garage and I realize this will be tricky with the two kids asleep, so I call Ben. Of course he doesn't answer. Of course. What is the point of having a phone if you never have it on sound??? I could be dying and that thing wouldn't make a peep. Bleeding, all over the pavement, lungs hanging out.... snoring escaping from my bedroom window. Roll my eyes.
I pulled into the garage and figured I'd take the boy and stop by the bedroom on the way in to tell Ben to go get Gabriela Catalina. I wake him up.
"Ben. Ben. BEN. BEN. BEN!!"
".....huh?"
"I need you to get Gabriela Catalina out of the car please."
"Okay." No movement.
"BEN. She's in the car. Right now. You need to get her now."
"Okay." Blank stare.
"Benjamin. Get up. Go to the garage. Open the door. Get your kid out of the car."
"Okay. I can do that." Eyes wide open. He moves the blanket like he is going to get up but instead of getting out of the bed he makes machine gun noises and pretends with his hands to walk to the car, open the door, pick her up, bring her inside and set her down. He smiles.
Uhm..... say what?
"Benjamin. I'm not kidding. You're daughter? She's in the CAR. YOU NEED TO GET HER."
"Oh, okay, yeah. Where is she?"
"SHE IS IN THE CAR IN THE GARAGE. BY HERSELF. GET HER. RIGHT NOW." Colton is getting really heavy and to be honest, I'm getting annoyed.
"Okay, perfect. I'll go get her right now." Again, he moves his arms in a robot like motion, pretending to pick her up from the car, bring her inside and put her in her bed, making machine gun type noises. He says, "Perfect. I got her. That work for you?" Smiles, closes his eyes, goes back to sleep.
Seriously? Welcome to my life.
I pulled into the garage and figured I'd take the boy and stop by the bedroom on the way in to tell Ben to go get Gabriela Catalina. I wake him up.
"Ben. Ben. BEN. BEN. BEN!!"
".....huh?"
"I need you to get Gabriela Catalina out of the car please."
"Okay." No movement.
"BEN. She's in the car. Right now. You need to get her now."
"Okay." Blank stare.
"Benjamin. Get up. Go to the garage. Open the door. Get your kid out of the car."
"Okay. I can do that." Eyes wide open. He moves the blanket like he is going to get up but instead of getting out of the bed he makes machine gun noises and pretends with his hands to walk to the car, open the door, pick her up, bring her inside and set her down. He smiles.
Uhm..... say what?
"Benjamin. I'm not kidding. You're daughter? She's in the CAR. YOU NEED TO GET HER."
"Oh, okay, yeah. Where is she?"
"SHE IS IN THE CAR IN THE GARAGE. BY HERSELF. GET HER. RIGHT NOW." Colton is getting really heavy and to be honest, I'm getting annoyed.
"Okay, perfect. I'll go get her right now." Again, he moves his arms in a robot like motion, pretending to pick her up from the car, bring her inside and put her in her bed, making machine gun type noises. He says, "Perfect. I got her. That work for you?" Smiles, closes his eyes, goes back to sleep.
Seriously? Welcome to my life.
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