Those Eyes

Those Eyes

Ever since she was a little girl, Gabriela Catalina has looked at me with these big, brown, loving eyes.  She looks at me like I am the most important person in the entire world and as if all her love were meant for me (let’s forget about all the sass, too, for the moment).  She has searched me out in crowds, and seeing my face has given her the confidence she needs to do whatever it is she is doing.

At the beginning of the school year, we went to her violin concert for school.  She asked if her best girlfriend could come, oh and by the way could Frank come?  We will call him Frank for anonymity’s sake.  Frank, huh?  Alright. 

But let’s talk about Frank for a hot second. 

Frank was in her class the year before, and, as I understand it, had googly eyes for her the entire year.  She didn’t really give him the time of day, mostly because she was obsessed with this other boy, we will call him Jerry.  Jerry was not my favorite- not because there was anything wrong with Jerry, but he moved from one girl to the next breaking hearts all over the place.  Gabriela Catalina is shy and though she had a little crush on him, she wasn’t boy crazy like the rest of the girls in her class.  It was more of a quiet crush that she really only shared with me, and a few others.  But she liked him, and he knew it, and he didn’t really give him the time of day.

Lucky for us she’s not boy crazy, and it wasn’t a big deal- except when he fake married one of her friends during lunch one day.  Man, my heart broke for her.  So when this kid turned out not to be in any of her classes this year, I was relieved.  Maybe she could let this go.  I remember being “madly in love” when I was in fifth grade and then again in sixth.  If she was going to be all silly face for some boy, I’d rather it be for one who felt the same.

So, going back to Frank.  Frank lives on our street and is a good kid.  Like, a really, really good kid.  He has a big heart and is funny and stands up for his friends. 

This summer, knowing how Frank had “the eyes” for her all year, when she told me that she was bored, I told her to ride her bike on up to Frank’s house to see if he wanted to go for a bike ride with her.  She needed a best friend and one that’s close by and it was easy- I knew he would be thrilled and he’s a kid I feel safe with.  And thus, a beautiful friendship was born. 

That friendship turned into likeship.  And now we hear about Frank.  Every. Single. Day. 

She will giggle, “Omg, Mommy.  Do you know what FRANK said today?”  No, but I bet you are going to tell me and I bet its going to be so dumb.  “No, what did Frank say?”  “Well, he said blah blah blah- isn’t that SOOOOOO funny?”  Oh yeah, hilarious.  It got to the point where she would be at the table and begin, “Hey Daddy-“ and Ben would interject and say, “Lemme guess.  Did FRANK say something funny?”  And he would imitate Gabi telling a story and pretend to flip his hair and she would lose it.  Its all very amusing.

But back to the violin thing. 

So there we are- watching Gabi at her performance, getting ready to play, and I see her eyes searching the crowd.  Instinctively I start to sit up taller so that she can see where we are- I was going to give her a little wave so she knew exactly where we were.

But her eyes weren’t looking for me.  They were looking for Frank.  And when they found him, I saw the anxiety about performing fade away, and her beautiful smile and confidence shine through.  It made me realize that one day, she wasn’t going to be all mine anymore- that perhaps already she wasn’t.  And I 100% cried.  In the gym.  In front of all those parents.  And I didn’t care.

But here’s the thing.  We adore Frank.  And if she is going to find comfort in someone else, I want it to be with someone just like him.