The Horrors of Milk

I made brownies the other day and Colton was asking for milk to dip his brownie in (smart boy).  I apologized and told him that we didn't have any more milk.  Then I remembered I had "my" milk- the kids and I like two separate kinds.  I'm not normally an organic food kind of person- as long as it looks clean, I'm usually good.  Even at that, I figure you can always cut the bad parts off and eat the rest (don't worry- if I make you dinner, I don't do that to you- just me :) ).

But when I'm pregnant, I try to only eat organic meat, eggs, milk.  Right or wrong, I feel like its just better for the baby- although who actually knows.   So, I have a carton of organic milk for me and then the regular Giant brand of gallon milk for everyone else.

I said to Colton, "Oh!  Actually!  I'm not sure if you will like it or not, but you can have some of my milk if you would like.  I would be happy to share.  You might want to taste it first though before I pour you a cup- its been a while since you have had it and I'm not sure you will like it."

Colton said sure.

Ben looked at me, horrified.  He said, "Hold on a second.  You are doing to SHARE your MILK with COLTON?????"

I was very confused.  "Yes- of course I'll share with Colton.  He is more than welcome to have my milk.  I feel like you're upset but I honestly have no idea why you look so incredulous.  Its JUST MILK."  Seriously??? What is wrong with this man???

Ben: "You seriously see NOTHING wrong with this?"

Me: "Uh- no.  He is my son, and if he would like to have some of my milk- I am perfectly capable of sharing.  What is your problem?"

Ben: "I just think this is totally inappropriate.  I can't believe you see nothing wrong with this."

I swear I thought he had lost his mind and then it dawned on me- and I started cracking up on the inside.  We were having two completely different conversations.  I gave him the most ridiculous snide smile I muster.

Me: "That's right Ben.  There is nothing wrong with me sharing my MILK from the CARTON in the FRIDGE.  NOT FROM MY BODY."  

Relief flooded his face.

Ben: "Oh thank God.  That's not what I thought we were talking about."  I laughed at him- out loud. That man thought I was going to pump breast milk and give it to my near seven year old.  Good grief.

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