School

The reason children go to preschool is not so much for them to seperate from their parents, but for parents to seperate from their children... for me anyway. I took Gabriela to preschool for the first time last week with the only consilation of knowing that we have already left her for an hour an a half in someone else's care at church. It was going to be okay. For the first 45 minutes of her hour and a half class, she clung to my leg and refused to let go. We sat and played together the whole time, her never talking to anyone, just content to be with me. She would stare at the other children playing together and smile, knowing how much fun they were having, but yet content to be happy just absorbing. At some point, I slipped across the room and when she noticed I was gone, she cried out, "Mommy!" "I'm right here baby!" I said. She smiled and continued to play. A few minutes later I moved to the back of the room where she could look up and see me whenever she wanted.... but they brought out snack so I was on my own.

The next class time I sat with her for fifteen minutes before I told Gabriela I was going to go sit in the lobby and that if she needed me, she was to tell Ms. Jess that she needed Mommy and I would be right there. She smiled and kept playing. I went into the lobby and didn't leave what is supposed to be a drop off class. I had to stay in case my baby needed me! Every few minutes I got up and peeked in the window to see how she was. Was she off in a corner by herself again? Did she have any friends? Was she crying? The kid was having a blast. And after the second time I peeked in and realized she was not going to call for me, I started crying. She didn't need me anymore. My baby is growing up and doesn't need me like she used to. I'm proud of her, but I feel like life is just going by so fast.