you would think
On the way home this afternoon, Colton began the pee dance in his car seat.
"Mommy, I weeawee weeawee have to go potty."
I told him we were almost home and asked him if he needed me to pull over so he could just go in the grass. He wanted to pee in the grass. Of course. Thanks Papo and Abuelita. I changed my mind on the matter hoping to maintain some sense of civility and said we would be home in thirty seconds and I bet he could hold it. We pulled into the garage and I unbuckled him as fast as I could and started shutting the garage door. He got upset and said he had wanted to pee in the grass. I said, "Listen Colton. It's too cold outside and we are home. Go inside to go to the bathroom." You would think those were clear directions.
He was not pleased but went inside anyway. As I am getting everything out of the car, I hear shrieking, then squeals of delight and then Gabriela Catalina very excitedly yelling at me to come quick because the bubbles are rolling down the sidewalk. The what?
GC: "The bubbles are rolling down the sidewalk! Come look, come look!"
Me: "What are you talking about? What bubbles? Are you guys outside? Why is the door open?" And I come in through the garage and there is my daughter, giddy with delight. And there is my son standing in my front doorway, bare tooshed pants around his ankles and indeed, bubbles rolling down the sidewalk connected to our porch.
Me: "COLTON! Did you pee outside?! I told you to go IN the house to go pee! What are you DOING??"
C: He looked at me like I was the DUMBEST person on the planet. "Mommy. I did not pee outside. I came IN the house, opened the door, pulled down my pants, pulled down my underwear, took out my penis and peed on the porch but while I was INSIDE the house. I did NOT go outside."
Sigh. Touché son, touché.
"Mommy, I weeawee weeawee have to go potty."
I told him we were almost home and asked him if he needed me to pull over so he could just go in the grass. He wanted to pee in the grass. Of course. Thanks Papo and Abuelita. I changed my mind on the matter hoping to maintain some sense of civility and said we would be home in thirty seconds and I bet he could hold it. We pulled into the garage and I unbuckled him as fast as I could and started shutting the garage door. He got upset and said he had wanted to pee in the grass. I said, "Listen Colton. It's too cold outside and we are home. Go inside to go to the bathroom." You would think those were clear directions.
He was not pleased but went inside anyway. As I am getting everything out of the car, I hear shrieking, then squeals of delight and then Gabriela Catalina very excitedly yelling at me to come quick because the bubbles are rolling down the sidewalk. The what?
GC: "The bubbles are rolling down the sidewalk! Come look, come look!"
Me: "What are you talking about? What bubbles? Are you guys outside? Why is the door open?" And I come in through the garage and there is my daughter, giddy with delight. And there is my son standing in my front doorway, bare tooshed pants around his ankles and indeed, bubbles rolling down the sidewalk connected to our porch.
Me: "COLTON! Did you pee outside?! I told you to go IN the house to go pee! What are you DOING??"
C: He looked at me like I was the DUMBEST person on the planet. "Mommy. I did not pee outside. I came IN the house, opened the door, pulled down my pants, pulled down my underwear, took out my penis and peed on the porch but while I was INSIDE the house. I did NOT go outside."
Sigh. Touché son, touché.
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